You Can Make a Difference: How to support your loved one if you suspect they are experiencing intimate partner violence.
Domestic violence is extremely complex and individual experiences can vary. There is a statistic that states: “2 out of 3 Americans experience DV and have NEVER talked about domestic violence with their friends.” Victims of domestic violence often feel ashamed, alone, and due to the stigma, don’t talk about their experience. As a society, we must talk about it as SILENCE creates more violence. Talking about domestic violence and getting involved can be the difference between life and death for some victims.
If you know someone or suspect that someone you know is experiencing domestic violence (also known as intimate partner violence), there are several things you can do to help and support them:
- Listen:
- Don’t tell them what to do. Domestic violence is based on power and control. You want to help empower your loved one and not be another person that has power and control over them.
- Validate their feelings
- Don’t Judge:
- Often, judgment is victim-blaming and could make a victim become defensive as well as more isolated and they may not want to seek support.
- Believe Them:
- Often, people who choose to abuse, are charming and can be more believable.
- Respect Them:
- Respect their choices even if you disagree. They are the experts in their own life.
- Helpful Comments:
- “It is not your fault”
- “There is nothing you did to deserve this”
- “You deserve to be treated with respect”
- “You deserve to feel safe in your own home/place”
- “You are not alone”
- “I am here for you”
- Offer Resources:
- Rose Andom Center
- 720-337-4400
- SafeHouse Denver
- 303-318-9989 – 24/7 crisis and information line
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- 800-799-SAFE (7233) – 24/7 crisis line
- Rose Andom Center
Remember, you are there to offer your love and support, not to rescue them. Let your loved one know that you will be there for them no matter what choices they make. If you need assistance on how to help your loved one, the Rose Andom Center is available to help.
Additional links on how to support:
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